A week after I arrived in Sin City, I attended a divorce support
group I found in the local newspaper listed between Cross-Dressers of
Las Vegas and Friends and Family of Incarcerated People. (And I thought I
had problems.) As I sat among a circle of strangers waiting for my turn
to share, I glanced at the Absolutely No Swearing sign hanging from the
ceiling and thought, “This will be a challenge.”“I’m Linda,” I began, “I have no husband, no job, and you people are my only friends.” Everyone laughed at my pathetic truth.
Bastard Husband: A Love Story is a humorous account of my first year alone in Las Vegas after a midlife divorce from someone who was the perfect soulmate--until that one drink too many. The book is threaded with reflections of the relationship and shows how I transitioned from anger and sadness to doing stand-up comedy for the first time at age 46. Funny and sad, demented and poignant... all at the same time.
How the book came to be...
When I was a little girl in upstate New York, I dreamed of becoming a writer. But did I dream of writing a book entitled Bastard Husband: A Love Story? Um, no. Let me tell you how that came about.
I
moved to Las Vegas in 2003. Most people move to Sin City buoyant
with anticipation. I, however, arrived feeling depressed, deflated and
alone. I had just blown out the last flicker of hope for my marriage to
my second husband, a charming Kiwi eight years my junior. He was
perfect and I loved everything about him. Until his thirteenth beer.
Determined
to make a life for myself, I endured the frustrations of looking for a
professional level position in a job market where valet parker and
cocktail waitress are the coveted career options. The dating scene
proved to be equally disheartening. When my first post-divorce date
arrived at my door not with flowers in hand, but a brochure detailing
his chronic mental condition, I couldn’t help but conclude I really know
how to pick ‘em.
Though
I would have preferred to sulk at home weeping over my video of
Princess Di’s funeral, I forced myself to explore the Vegas nightlife.
After several weeks of watching comics perform at an open mic venue, a
voice in my head told me to go ahead and sign up for stage time. Since
that voice rarely turns out to be the voice of reason, I ignored it
until it persisted to the point where I thought, why not? No one in Las
Vegas knew me, so what was there to lose?
Despite
excruciating anxiety, I did well my first time on stage. I performed
quite regularly, and though my neck would predictably blotch up, I never
developed a sudden case of Tourette’s or lost control of bowel
functions as I had feared. I’ve been making people laugh ever since.
One of my biggest accomplishments came though the local writing community. Although I’d worked as a technical writer for many years, I hadn’t explored creative expression until I joined the Henderson Writers Group, a critique group for writers in the Las Vegas Valley. With their help, I crafted my journal entries from my first year alone into what became my memoir, Bastard Husband: A Love Story. The book was also the basis for my one-woman show which ran for 25 performances last spring. Since then, I've also had several personal essays published in anthologies including Chicken Soup for the Soul and I've recorded humorous essays for Northeast Public Radio.
Yes, the little cheerleader from Albany has come a long way. I will be forever
grateful to my ex for leading me to my new life. Over the years, we've
maintained a friendly connection (living in separate hemispheres helps!) and
he's very supportive of my book. At the risk of sounding like the Pollyanna I
can sometimes be, I believe everything really does happen for a reason. Most
importantly, I've learned that in the end, your heart beats only for yourself.
Sometimes when I'm speaking to groups or I'm walking off stage after a comedy set, I catch myself marveling at the life I’ve created. And that’s the message I wish to share with others—that’s it’s never too late to identify your talents and share them with the rest of the world. When you believe in yourself and are willing to put forth some effort, anything is possible!
Sometimes when I'm speaking to groups or I'm walking off stage after a comedy set, I catch myself marveling at the life I’ve created. And that’s the message I wish to share with others—that’s it’s never too late to identify your talents and share them with the rest of the world. When you believe in yourself and are willing to put forth some effort, anything is possible!
